The great object of life is sensation—to feel that we exist, even in pain.

Lord Byron

Today marks a month since my grandmother passed away on New Year’s Eve. I’ve spent the past few hours staring at the computer screen watching the cursor blink, patiently waiting for me to twist up the courage to type.  It has been a difficult month, one full of different emotions that I never knew I was capable of feeling.  This is my first experience with death on such a close, deeply personal level. My grandmother was so much more than a grandmother to me. She was something almost impossible to describe. I have spent this month (among trying to make a home for myself back in Wisconsin, job hunting, being with family and friends and grieving) just barely scratching the surface of photographing  images with my camera so that I can create a digital catalog of her life, and her life with me. Her warmth resonates in the images and it has proved very rewarding, bringing back so many memories. I know that this is going to be a very long and difficult road ahead of me. Her loss is an immense one, not just for me, but for anyone who she touched. I hope that I will have the courage to work through it, always remembering that even if she isn’t here physically, my heart and mind can bring me back to her.  One month.  I love and miss you grandma.

6 Replies to “Untitled”

  1. Herbert J. Ellis says:

    Maxine and I are deeply touched by your comments about Shirley and the gathering of photographs.

    Thank you.

    Herb Ellis

    • Gnome Photo says:

      I’m so glad that you were able to find my blog! I really wanted to share some of the photos I’ve been collecting and thought today would be a good moment to do so. I hope you and Maxine are well. It was so nice to see you both and I hope we can see each other again, soon!

  2. beth says:

    Aww Charla… I hope you know I’m always here for you if you need to talk! Your grandma sounds like such a wonderful person, and I know she would be so proud of you. This is a beautiful tribute to her 🙂

  3. aclock says:

    I love this so much. It just proves how important photographs are…how they can hold little slivers of our lives. That they can help us remember even when it hurts. It looks like she had a life full of people that loved her.

  4. Elise Fiers says:

    Beautiful post Char. You’re so lucky to have had a woman like that in your life, and to have these gorgeous prints to live these moments again and again. I also experienced a death of a close family member recently. Just remember that energy of hers is still around, in those moments when you see her favorite flowers and smile to yourself…she’s there smiling back.

  5. Gnome Photo says:

    Thank you Elise. I’m very sorry for your loss, I hope that you are able to have the support and kindness that you deserve during such a difficult time. It is so funny how small things like flowers can flood me with memories. I’m still struggling to work through things, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her whether its a happy thought, or pain from missing her. Much love to you.

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